As I closed my computer the other night and shut down my facebook page I was alarmed at what I had been told by different people. Eleven suicides I was made aware of on that day alone. Last night, before I checked out for the night, I was made aware of three suicides. This is becoming very disturbing and alarming to me and something needs to be done.
Please understand the work I do. I travel a lot speaking to teens as a teen motivational speaker and youth speaker. I speak in high school and middle school assemblies sharing my message, “About Life.” I have one of the greatest jobs possible and I truly love what I do. I also have a family and teen life coaching practice where I counsel or help parents, individuals and teenagers with their purpose and direction in life. I hear about suicide a lot and yes, for the people reading this and becoming alarmed when someone shares with me that they might be suicidal I exercise the necessary precautions, ask the right questions, and send this to through the proper channels. I am not qualified, nor am I willing to take on this on by myself.
I love the work I do, but sometimes, it is beyond advice, encouragement, support, motivation, and a kick in the butt. I am fully aware of my boundaries and take my responsibilities very seriously.
America???? Are you listening?
Parents, Teachers, Coaches, Administrators? Are you listening?
I have three pieces of advice to help rid our teens today of thoughts of suicide:
1. Let’s focus less on standardized testing and more on teaching the whole student.
As I listened to a speaker the other day, he made a comment about the Rubics Cube and how we focus on just one color to get that color to come together. Then he talked about when you want all the colors to come together you have to focus on the whole cube and not just one side. That spoke volumes to me.
When dealing with our teenagers, we need to be aware of what is going on in their lives, all around. Be aware of their personal lives, school lives, influences, music, internet, etc. We need to know what influences are most noticeably impacting today’s teens.
We have become an educational system focused on tests. What happened to the school system focusing on the individual, the student, the person, and not looking at our kids as numbers? What happened to building school spirit and school morale? Let’s get our kids all involved and see them as our future and not a number going through the system.
Touch the heart . . . The mind will follow!
2. Parents need to get more involved.
If the school system won’t do it, then, the parents need to step up and do what they should have been doing a long time ago. Teach your children self-esteem, coping skills, time management, self-respect, personal values, and morals.
There are many parents that are involved and I applaud them. There are also a lot of parents missing. Listen, your child is here today as a result of your choices – Not theirs. We have a responsibility to our children. Get involved.
The average family communicates in meaningful conversation less than 30 seconds a day. That is three and a half minutes a week of meaningful conversation. That is alarming too. You should be spending at least fifteen to thirty minutes a day of meaningful conversation with your children as a family. I say meaningful conversation too. Don’t just give advise. LISTEN. COMMUNICATE. LAUGH.
3. It takes a village to raise a child – Let’s all get involved.
Be a positive influence to all teenagers today. I hear so often, “Teens today!” Have you gotten to know any of them? I can assure you that I am proud of teens today. I have met so many talented and wonderful teens that show awesome respect. I know deep down the issues today’s teens are facing.
Let’s all get involved. Join a Big Brothers and Big Sisters program. You don’t have time . . . I understand. Then, get to know your children’s friends and encourage and support them too. Be positive and upbeat. Eat lunch with them. Laugh with them. Ask if you can give your advice at times. Do it at their level. I think you know what I mean.
Listen, today’s teens are dropping in alarming numbers. I blame a lot on two things:
1. Pressure in school and not having coping skills to deal
2. Bullying, Cyber-Bullying and feelings of Acceptance
If you have children and know children, I encourage you to be a shining light in their lives. Be a teacher or a personal coach to them. Let them know that in case of needing someone to talk to, that you are there. Teens need to know who they can trust, whose opinions they value, and who they respect . . . Are you that person?
